Winter Must Have Passed Us By

It’s February 8th, but it sure doesn’t feel like it.  We spent the morning taking a long walk to the park, playing on the playground, and then walking back.  It was beautiful- much nicer than usual and definitely better than the summer.

We’re finding normal here.  And although we’re still feeling lonely, we have found a rhythm to our life and it’s right for us.

And the days pass by…

I had the best intentions to completing my month of gratitude, but it just didn’t happen.  Life gets so busy so quickly sometimes.

The week before Thanksgiving Sal finally found a job.  It’s only seasonal but it’s been a blessing.  He has also found a part-time job starting on January 1st.  He will be working as a gate attendant at one of the country clubs in the area.  It’s a night job so he will still be able to continue going to school during the day.   We’re hoping he can stay on at his seasonal job as a part-time employee,too, and then we should be ok.

We’re adjusting to not having him home often now.  I miss having him here at bedtime but I’m sure glad to see him when I wake up.  Facing putting the kids to bed alone is sometimes a bit overwhelming, too, but we’re hitting a pretty good routine now.

The house is decorated for Christmas now and Mesa spent the afternoon baking chocolate peppermint cookies.  I’m almost done with our shopping but I still have quite a few things to make.  I’ve been in a rut and I’m so glad that I feel like I’ve snapped out of it!

I hope that I’ll be back to share more in my space.

Failure

Today is Monday.  It’s the second to last Monday in September.  It’s almost fall.  It’s also our first day of school.  Sigh.

We managed to get reading and math done with Levi.  Mesa did her vocabulary and is reading right now.  Olivia finished one side of a refresher math worksheet. That’s all we did in 2 1/2 hours.

I’m not mad.  I’m not sad.  I’m frustrated.

I feel like a failure.  Not because we barely did any school.  I feel like a failure because my children spent the morning saying nasty things to each other.  They spent the morning telling me I’ve punched the wrong one- it wasn’t them that said those mean things, it wasn’t their fault.

It’s quiet time now.  Levi and Mesa are reading and Olivia is laying down with Onee.  I spent half of my quiet time praying and now I’m here.  I’m trying to figure out what it is that I’ve done wrong.